Live and let live

2012-09-23

Don’t you think having a pet peeve is very common? Some of us may get annoyed when others walk too slow in the hallways, when people chew with their mouths open, when people’s clothes don’t match…silly little things like that right? They’re pet peeves because they bother you for a second, but after that, you’re able to forget them and not let them ruin your day. What if you had a pet peeve about yourself that you couldn’t stop? One that made you angry all the time, but you had no way of controlling it? I recently attended a presentation by Marc Elliot, a man who lived with this type of situation for 20 years before he was able to overcome it through hard work, determination and powerful words of wisdom.

Marc Elliot was born with Tourette syndrome. It’s a disease where involuntary muscle movements may occur. For 20 years he had trouble speaking, would say vulgar words without meaning to, hurt people’s feelings and could not control his involuntary actions. However, this didn’t stop Marc from living his life. Marc was determined to beat his “tic,” which refers to his outburst of words/actions. It took many years of determination to do so but one moment in his life that truly helped was nothing other than an ordinary breakfast.

Marc was “ticking” a lot one morning while out to breakfast by himself. He was saying things many would find offensive and therefore he felt compelled to notify the gentleman seated close to him, “I have Tourette syndrome. I apologize if I offend you. I don’t mean what I’m saying.” The man he was speaking to simply left it at that and said “OK, thank you.” Now, Marc was confused because he didn’t normally get this reaction. Sometimes people tell him it doesn’t matter, that he disgusts them, that he has severe issues, or that he should leave. However, this man’s kindness surprised Marc that day and so Marc asked the man, “Why did you respond that way?” The other gentleman told Marc that earlier that year he had been sitting on a bus complaining about a young child who was screaming and crying for over 30 minutes. His dad was right next to him and was doing nothing. Finally, a woman asked the father to tell her son to quiet down. The father said to the woman, “His mother just died and we just came from her funeral.” The woman did not say anything in return.

From there Marc knew exactly what the man was trying to tell him, and Marc formed one of his favorite quotes based on his experiences and those of others. The quote is “Live and let live.” It means to live your life to the fullest and let others do the same. As a stranger, an acquaintance, a classmate, or a co-worker, many times we know very little about the other people around us. We cannot understand what some people are going through, their values, or possibly their health situation, so we should truly be respectful of everyone. Marc’s message is clear: as we live our lives as we wish, we should let others enjoy their lives as they please.